Stripped Down, Gutted Out and Rewired…

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Healing isn’t easy!

Now I understand why so many people just give in to their unhealthy patterns and give up on themselves.

My body wants to be healthy, I know it does!  It is showing me that there is work that needs to be done. Move the wrong things out and the right things in.

It sounds easy…

This level of patience, faith and commitment requires the kind of strength that I didn’t even know I had.

I really wanted to go out and play today–the sun is shining, the sky is that perfect shade of blue, it’s perfect dress and boot weather, I have nowhere to be, I am a red head as of three weeks ago, and have yet to really show it off. These are all facts. So what’s the problem? Healing requires rest, and rejuvenation happens when you give your body what it needs to restructure itself. So it looks like I’m staying in today.

I get these bursts of energy that can be deceiving.

It goes a little something like this:

Ring, ring…

“Hey, baby, wanna go out and play?”

“Yes, please!”

20 minutes later….

No way! I have no desire to walk out my front door. All I want to do is eat salty things while laying my horizontal self on soft, snuggly things. No way world, we are not joining forces today! Then I beat myself up for feeling sluggish and unenthusiastic about going out,  turn on Pandora, put some red lipstick on, start getting pretty, thinking this will do the trick…it has to…red lipstick always works.

Nope, not today! Nice try, sucker!

So life has been kinda weird lately. This whole scenario is something that I go through on a regular basis. But something different happened today. As I was sitting in front of that mirror putting on that red lipstick, trying to fight off the monsters in my mind, I kept hearing the words, ”REST!!! REST!! PLEASE!!!!! Surrender to this process of purification and REST!”

It feels like I’m being stripped down, gutted out and rewired for a secret mission. My passion for healing, nutrition, spiritual growth, yoga and everything else that is sacred and holy in this world has taken on a whole new meaning; I breathe life into these limbs, these rituals, this practice of loving and caring for my whole self as if my life depended on it…

Nothing will ever be the way it was. Everything has changed.

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