dO yOu FaNcY a sHaDoW DaNcE?

“We all attract certain people into our life who have developed qualities opposite to the ones we are most identified with. In other words, they mirror our disowned selves, and we mirror theirs. These are often the most highly emotionally charged relationships. We either love them, hate them, or both! We feel very attracted to them, and/or very uncomfortable, judgmental, annoyed, or frustrated with them. The stronger the feelings, the more important a mirror they are for us. We have drawn them into our reality to show us something about what we need to develop in ourselves. The fact that we have such strong feelings (one way or another) toward them means that they are showing us a part of ourselves we need to acknowledge, accept, and integrate.”
-The Spade

I don’t know about you, but I’m in a constant state of evolution. It has recently been brought to my attention that I am nowhere near the finish line, so I may as well kick back a bit, enjoy the show, and quit taking myself so damn seriously. This is a spiritual lesson on practicality or is it a practical lesson on spirituality? Oh fuck it–who cares! 😉

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We’re all so terribly afraid of being judged, yet we judge all day long. The majority of the time we are judging ourselves for being too much of this or not enough of that. Depending on where you’re at–in terms of consciousness, you will either project your shadow onto the world around you which will leave you feeling like a victim over and over again, or you will take responsibility for yourself, your energy, and the astounding power that you possess to transform darkness into light.

Your shadow is dying to be seen, and it will throw one fit after another to get your attention–it’s that simple! All of these people –pushing, pulling and poking at your self-esteem, your nerves, your belief system–they are angels in disguise, and they will keep showing up in one form or another until you get the message. It’s important for you to know that it’s not always negative traits that we are disowning; sometimes we deny our own strength, beauty, sexuality, passion…..

I’m ready to stretch out of bullshit and into my Goddess self!

Much Love,

Lauren

Heal Ourselves, Heal The World….

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The conflict in the world around us is a constant reminder of the conflict within ourselves. I have been in a deeply introspective and quiet place since discovering  the awful news Monday afternoon about the Boston marathon bombings. I have been carrying a deep sadness inside of my heart that has left me nearly speechless which NEVER happens! Perhaps I am silently digging out the war that I have been fighting  inside of myself,  with myself, for as long as I can remember.

I signed on to Facebook earlier today, and discovered that one of my oldest and dearest friends, Tari Pacifico,  had something deeply moving to say about not only what happened the other day in Boston but the astounding power of our collective consciousness.

I’m so grateful to know this lovely lady….Enjoy!

“Heal our selves, help heal the world…

I am more interested in hearing complaints about politics and thoughts about “wrong doings” in world events from people with a certain emotional resume. If your relationships are truly healthy (or aspiring to be through concerted effort) and you are a generally positive person with an assertive and loving personality, I very much want to hear about your perception of the “conflict out there.”

However, if you still run at the sight of interpersonal conflict, create emotional dramas to divert from the core of issues, believe in divorce instead of patience and unconditional love during the inevitable and sometimes verrrrry long periods of transition in marriage, lack the personal courage to be truthful and open in your close interpersonal and family relationships and instead withdraw or attack, avoid long term love relationships due to narcissism or fear of intimacy, project your inner demons onto others around you and act defensively instead of introspectively, act through your conditioned behaviors due to lack of having found your own personal “voice”, haven’t done or begun the work to bring your consciousness to light-it seems like a subconscious diversion or even denial of the nature of the self.

What is happening “out there” is a direct reflection of what is happening “in here”. Everyone has choice of whether or not to be healthy or unhealthy- individually and in relationships. This is the age of becoming conscious (aka bringing our darkness to the light) and healing ourselves and our relationships. Gone are the days of physical survival focused attitudes for most of us. There are enough humans and there is generally speaking enough shelter. Now is the time to heal eons of emotional baggage-the stuff our ancestors didn’t have time to do. Now is the time to bring forward the light of who we are. Wars, bombings, shootings, international friction etc. are things that happen right in our own minds, relationships, communities and homes. Every time we fight in unhealthy ways, separate from people as a way to deal with conflict and any of the other things that I listed above, we are engaging in separation mentality or war mentality. We are not “better” than that stuff on the news when our relationships are a mess because we are a mess.

So, when I see horrific things happening “out there”, I see that more work needs to be done “in here”. I look around at my relationships and my reactions-I search my heart for hate, resentments and bitterness. I always find all kinds of things that need my attention. When you break it down and take a good peek inside and see how much darkness is in our own souls, it is easier to see why the world is struggling as a whole. It is hard to be human.

Everything is everything and all things can be used as tools for change. I am personally very persuaded by the thought that I am powerful enough to affect the masses. The most empowering thing that I ever heard many years ago was that we can affect the world by healing ourselves. I haven’t been the same since. If you can truly wrap your head around the fact that you can help “save the world” by becoming a better person then why not do it with your entire being? ”

♥ ♥ ♥

(DISCLAIMER: I take limited credit for any piece of “my” writing. Some event or thought ignites a spark and I am taken over by a desire to write that puts me into a “writers moment” of intense and fast typing or jotting. I channel the heart space that we all have deep within us-and I cannot claim that space as my own.)

~Tari Pacifico , original content @ Tari Pacifico 2013

When Tari speaks of people choosing divorce over unconditional love, she is referring to the fact that walking out on a relationship because it needs work happens all too often–typically right before the magic starts happening. We both understand that there are times when it is absolutely necessary.

Photo by Mary Robinson

Forgive Them Anyway

I struggle with this constantly so I’m not saying it is going to be easy. But I will tell you that every second of the struggle is worth it. Nothing can compare to peace within the body. It’s a euphoric state of being that unfortunately has become our forgotten birthright.

Anger, resentment and fear rob you of your beautiful life force. No matter what they did or said, you can choose forgiveness for you. Anger, resentment and fear are toxic emotions that turn into cancer ; polluting your entire existence with tension and dis-ease. The road to forgiveness might take a while but it can start right now. You deserve it, my loves!

22 Things Happy People Do Differently

 

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There are two types of people in the world: those who choose to be happy, and those who choose to be unhappy. Contrary to popular belief, happiness doesn’t come from fame, fortune, other people, or material possessions. Rather, it comes from within. The richest person in the world could be miserable while a homeless person could be right outside, smiling and content with their life. Happy people are happy because they make themselves happy. They maintain a positive outlook on life and remain at peace with themselves.

The question is: how do they do that?

It’s quite simple. Happy people have good habits that enhance their lives. They do things differently. Ask any happy person, and they will tell you that they …

1. Don’t hold grudges.

Happy people understand that it’s better to forgive and forget than to let their negative feelings crowd out their positive feelings. Holding a grudge has a lot of detrimental effects on your wellbeing, including increased depression, anxiety, and stress. Why let anyone who has wronged you have power over you? If you let go of all your grudges, you’ll gain a clear conscience and enough energy to enjoy the good things in life.

2. Treat everyone with kindness.

Did you know that it has been scientifically proven that being kind makes you happier? Every time you perform a selfless act, your brain produces serotonin, a hormone that eases tension and lifts your spirits. Not only that, but treating people with love, dignity, and respect also allows you to build stronger relationships.

3. See problems as challenges.

The word “problem” is never part of a happy person’s vocabulary. A problem is viewed as a drawback, a struggle, or an unstable situation while a challenge is viewed as something positive like an opportunity, a task, or a dare. Whenever you face an obstacle, try looking at it as a challenge.

4. Express gratitude for what they already have.

There’s a popular saying that goes something like this: “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.” You will have a deeper sense of contentment if you count your blessings instead of yearning for what you don’t have.

5. Dream big.

People who get into the habit of dreaming big are more likely to accomplish their goals than those who don’t. If you dare to dream big, your mind will put itself in a focused and positive state.

6. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Happy people ask themselves, “Will this problem matter a year from now?” They understand that life’s too short to get worked up over trivial situations. Letting things roll off your back will definitely put you at ease to enjoy the more important things in life.

7. Speak well of others.

Being nice feels better than being mean. As fun as gossiping is, it usually leaves you feeling guilty and resentful. Saying nice things about other people encourages you to think positive, non-judgmental thoughts.

8. Never make excuses.

Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Happy people don’t make excuses or blame others for their own failures in life. Instead, they own up to their mistakes and, by doing so, they proactively try to change for the better.

9. Get absorbed into the present.

Happy people don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They savor the present. They let themselves get immersed in whatever they’re doing at the moment. Stop and smell the roses.

10. Wake up at the same time every morning.

Have you noticed that a lot of successful people tend to be early risers? Waking up at the same time every morning stabilizes your circadian rhythm, increases productivity, and puts you in a calm and centered state.

11. Avoid social comparison.

Everyone works at his own pace, so why compare yourself to others? If you think you’re better than someone else, you gain an unhealthy sense of superiority. If you think someone else is better than you, you end up feeling bad about yourself. You’ll be happier if you focus on your own progress and praise others on theirs.

12. Choose friends wisely.

Misery loves company. That’s why it’s important to surround yourself with optimistic people who will encourage you to achieve your goals. The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself.

13. Never seek approval from others.

Happy people don’t care what others think of them. They follow their own hearts without letting naysayers discourage them. They understand that it’s impossible to please everyone. Listen to what people have to say, but never seek anyone’s approval but your own.

14. Take the time to listen.

Talk less; listen more. Listening keeps your mind open to others’ wisdoms and outlooks on the world. The more intensely you listen, the quieter your mind gets, and the more content you feel.

15. Nurture social relationships.

A lonely person is a miserable person. Happy people understand how important it is to have strong, healthy relationships. Always take the time to see and talk to your family, friends, or significant other.

16. Meditate.

Meditating silences your mind and helps you find inner peace. You don’t have to be a zen master to pull it off. Happy people know how to silence their minds anywhere and anytime they need to calm their nerves.

17. Eat well.

Junk food makes you sluggish, and it’s difficult to be happy when you’re in that kind of state. Everything you eat directly affects your body’s ability to produce hormones, which will dictate your moods, energy, and mental focus. Be sure to eat foods that will keep your mind and body in good shape.

18. Exercise.

Studies have shown that exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft does. Exercising also boosts your self-esteem and gives you a higher sense of self-accomplishment.

19. Live minimally.

Happy people rarely keep clutter around the house because they know that extra belongings weigh them down and make them feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Some studies have concluded that Europeans are a lot happier than Americans are, which is interesting because they live in smaller homes, drive simpler cars, and own fewer items.

20. Tell the truth.

Lying stresses you out, corrodes your self-esteem, and makes you unlikeable. The truth will set you free. Being honest improves your mental health and builds others’ trust in you. Always be truthful, and never apologize for it.

21. Establish personal control.

Happy people have the ability to choose their own destinies. They don’t let others tell them how they should live their lives. Being in complete control of one’s own life brings positive feelings and a great sense of self-worth.

22. Accept what cannot be changed.

Once you accept the fact that life is not fair, you’ll be more at peace with yourself. Instead of obsessing over how unfair life is, just focus on what you can control and change it for the better.

This article is from Chiara Fucarino.

I really appreciate clearly lists-especially happy ones! 😉 Enjoy!

The Master Key

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Spring is in the air;

I can feel the transition from darkness to light

crawling on my skin like an animal,

I can feel the stirring of a new chapter

begging to be born

deep inside of my body.

Nothing compares to the sensation of natural rhythm.

Everything I wish I could be is disappearing into the atmosphere

as I sink my teeth into this delicious, rainy morning.

As free as I wish to be, always!

This is the master key, the holy grail, the secret.
Down the rabbit hole we go again and again and again…..

Original content, copyright, Lauren Suzanne 2013

Photo by Christian Coigny