“Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?”

“Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.”

” And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

~Marianne Williamson, A Return To Love

I read this book when I was 16 and again when I was 24.  I cried a lot both times. It was as if I could physically feel myself transformed by her words. As soon as truth is recognized something opens up; walls come crashing down, hearts open, tears fall, a seed is planted…

It took many more years of wrestling around with my shadow before I finally understood the depth of her message. This is a delicate process that needs to be trusted and respected. You can’t rush it any more than you can rush the growth of a tree. The sunshine and the rain are just as significant, and time certainly is not the enemy.

The Phantom Period

Today I choose to wake up to the wisdom and the lessons that this period is bringing with it. It’s a very indecisive period, not quite sure if it’s ready. You know, the phantom period that usually wreaks havoc in all of your affairs. If I didn’t know what I now know, this would be an absolutely awful day.
I’ve been researching the female cycle for over a year now and I have come to learn that there are many insightful theories and points of view on this topic. I’m not quite sure about attaching myself to any single one of them, so I don’t. I find valuable and useful information in so many different places, which has inspired me to experiment with my life. My personal experience with all of it thus far has led me to draw my own conclusions.
The bottom line for me is that EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED. So of course when I read that my diet effects my cycle this made perfect sense; and when I chose to keep a food journal, omitting specific foods and eating an abundance of others,  it was no surprise to me that I felt happier, healthier, and more energized. When I read that a lot of women are deficient in certain vitamins and minerals that our bodies need in order to assist us through a healthy cycle, I chose to find the foods that were packed with them and sneak them into meals and snacks as often as possible; Calcium, Magnesium and Vitamin D, to name a few. I soon realized that I wasn’t a PMS maniac. Cramping was minimal, and unhealthy cravings were pretty much non-existent. My body was constantly craving the good stuff, the holiest of all holy food. I felt peaceful before, during, and after my period.
I also read deeply into the emotional aspect of it all, and discovered the theory that whatever you are experiencing consciously or subconsciously will be magnified by your period. So if you’re harboring resentment, anger, fear, or deep sadness – those emotions will manifest as rage, depression, anxiety or the desire to abruptly leave something or someone.
I’m not surprised at all by the fact that my period is ”stuck’,” and not sure if it’s ready to be free. I felt incredibly indecisive this past month; stuck, confused and scared to move forward. I also have not been taking the best care of myself for various reasons. Those reasons will take me down if I let them, and quite honestly I am no longer interested in giving in to cupcakes and mood swings. Discipline has never been my strong point; the difference is that I now know that no one can change that but me.
Healthy body, healthy mind, healthy cycle!
Original content copyright, Lauren Suzanne 2013

Cranky Pants

I’m a cranky pants today. I’m even cranky in my sleep; tossing and turning, kicking and whining. “Baby, what is your problem?”, he groans.

My typical reaction to a realization like this is to search for ways to feel better; cooking is my # 1,  shopping, calling a good friend, or cleaning my apartment from top to bottom. However, I am completely committed to my new practice of staying present and allowing myself to simply be. Releasing my attachment to any particular outcome or fantasy has been incredibly freeing. Recognizing that everything, including feeling lazy and hormonally insane, can turn out to be quite useful. There’s a touch of magic in everything! Give yourself permission to just be; to come home from work and go straight to bed, to eat an entire tray of brownies in less than two days, to watch an unspeakable amount of really bad TV, or to skip your work-out program for more than a week or two. I’m not saying abandon yourself and all healthy habits. I’m saying listen to your body….always!

The paradox here is that I intuitively know when I have to give myself permission to be a little bit bad. The calling is from deep within my soul…but that is exactly why I’m having a cranky, moody day. My cycle goes very smoothly when I’m eating clean, committed to my yoga practice, meditating on a regular basis and just taking overall exquisite care of myself. The contrast of living in its absence has been wonderful, as well, because I can appreciate all the goodness that I have in my life as options. Recognizing that it’s always a choice, I now feel empowered, not defeated or guilty.

What are some of your healthy habits? What are some of your unhealthy habits? I’m really anxious to hear your thoughts on all of this.

Original content copyright, Lauren Suzanne 2013

Resolutions

It’s New Year’s Eve and I feel compelled to write out some resolutions.

A fresh start, a new beginning…..entering into this new year with clear intention.

Before getting started on this list, I decided to take a moment to reflect. I have so much to be grateful for, so much to let go of and so much to bless. This year has challenged my thinking more than ever before. I have taken responsibility for my life and everything that is or is not working in it. This year I have truly discovered the meaning of ‘’growing’’ pains and that the unification of intent and imagination are the most powerful tools a girl could have in her bag of tricks.

This year I will stretch way out of my comfort zone and into as many magical moments as possible.

More Play—I’m talkin’ hoola hoops, bubbles, bike rides,  games, dancing for no reason at all, and an obscene amount of laughter!

Deepen My Yoga Practice—I have been practicing yoga for over ten years but have yet to take it to the level I’d like to. Quite honestly I have not put forth the effort to go that deep. I wasn’t ready but I’m ready now and I will hold myself accountable.

Adventure—Spontaneity, road trips, weekend getaways, un-charted territory, rivers, springs, lakes, mountain-tops, foreign languages, strange and unfamiliar spices, far-away lands….

Giving as much and as often as possible— Offering my time to an organization that I believe in or gifting a person in need. There is a much bigger picture and so many different ways I can be of service.

Green Smoothies in the morning—I have been wanting to take on this challenge for quite some time. I have all of the ingredients that I could possibly need to make this happen on a regular basis. It’s time to mix them up in the blender every morning and start a new routine.

Mindfulness—Putting new coping skills into practice, new problem solving techniques and new methods of communication.

I’m trying not to get carried away here. These are just a few from my list. What are some of yours?